Monday, October 31, 2011

Forgiveness

I have a lot to say on forgiveness, and I've noticed that the theme has introduced itself in my daily life in interesting ways, pointing me towards some very solid moral truths and saving graces. Here's some thoughts:

1. Fashion.

Have we not "re-visited" just about every age of fashion to date? I remember looking at pictures of myself in 70's garb way back in the 1980's (even then donned in 1950's penny loafers and bobbie socks), and wondering what anyone could have been thinking to allow such things to be worn. I think many people thought the same until those darling disco 70's fought themselves back into our hearts via the fashion runways.  Redone in better fabrics, cuts and some new angles, this resurgence has allowed us to forgive ourselves for the ugly mistakes of yore, giving us all a chance to take redo our memories in a kinder, gentler way.  But don't look now, another terrible era has caught up to us, demanding to be forgiven. Yes, it's the 80's!


I went through a 1960's hippie phase in college, as many seem to do now, and as already described, I distinctly remember the 1950's coming back in style as an '80's poodle-skirt ponytail dream.  While I don't know that the 90's had anything unique to contribute (and is also now fine and established with an I-don't-give-a-shit-I'll-wear-my-pajamas-and-animal-slippers-in-public statement), I definitely now favor the dainties and ferocity of 1920's garb.  If Peak Oil forces us into a lifestyle regression, as predicted, I'm guessing that the heavy petticoats and long johns of the turn of the century will soon be refavored.  And Mad Max mongolian or steampunk style will always be ok.

2. Food. 
Just take a glance at the NY Times, reinventing all those old recipes with a new twist. We're taking what we knew and loved, which is now old and stale, and working to improve upon it. Forgiveness in this case, applied to our now-boring or unattractive favorites, then applied to our dumb need to constantly eat.

3. Ageing
It's not our fault that we age.  It's not our fault that we become fleshy and stinky and can no longer bend down to pick up something, or hear what anyone says correctly, or that our bones crumble when we fall down.  It's not our fault that we've processed so much in our lives that we cannot keep up with ever-changing technologies, or boy bands.  It's hard to go USA-faster as one gets older and everything becomes a little more difficult.  Forgive the slow driver in front of you by remembering that he or she could be 90 years old.

My grandmother had the memory of three elephants: she could recall the names of friends of mine from 5th grade when I was 30.  Maybe she just liked people, and animals.  She was lucky, except that she looked like a starving cat after a certain point.  But until then, she wore wigs and makeup and fancy dresses and jewels.  As we don't yet know enough about how and what diminishes us to control these things, I would also assign forgiveness here to the re-inventing of ourselves as we grow older.  We shop so we can adorn our ever-changing bodies with things that will make us feel better about them.  And I don't blame anyone for wanting plastic surgery, even the "plastics."  Go for it: or as old as you feel, until you look in the mirror.  Then you're only as old as you look.

4. Personal Forgiveness. If the legend of that jesus chap taught us one good thing, it was about forgiveness. I think forgiveness is the road to love. If you can forgive someone for their faults, you can see that person without prejudice or judgement, and you can love them freely.  If you forgive them before they've done anything at all, you are accepting that they are human and will make mistakes, and then you cannot be surprised or disappointed by these mistakes: they will not affect your love of the other.

I think that the christian church makes a good effort at incorporating forgiveness into their agendas, but I don't believe they get why it is so important, or they don't explain to the lay churchgoer what it really means. The way to peace, or god, or wholeness, or whatever you want to call it, is love. What is the way to love? I think it is forgiveness.

Love is the law, love under will.  Allow others the freedom to start over, and understand that to love is our choice.